07 Jun

Strawberry Surprise


TD and Strawberries


The Tiny Diner has started branching into his own recipes. Apparently the food I make for him isn't quite good enough. He has mastered a few new recipes (see Microwaved Cheese Sandwich.) Today he came up with a special dessert called Strawberry Surprise, whose key ingredients are Strawberries and Melted Gelt.

Also, the Tiny Diner now prefers that I, The Chef, post on his behalf. Secretly he always preferred for me to take dictation, anyhow.


Microwaved Cheese Sandwiches

Easy and cheesy!

06 May

Breakfast for Dinner



Since I stopped eating meat, The Chef has had to mix things up a bit. No longer can she skate by grilling a steak or frying some fish. Now she has to be creative.

Many of her recent innovations are experiments not worthy of discussing here (although I will, perhaps, post on the subject of fake meat in a later post.) 

The one thing that has moved into rotation that I can really get behind is "breakfast for dinner." Sure, the eggs are OK, but what really sells it are the pancakes.

11 Mar

New House Rules



It has come to my attention that a lot of what I have been eating comes from animals! Are you aware that a lot of what you eat is also animal-related? I am guessing not since otherwise you would stop eating these things immediately!!!!

The Chef claims she brought this to my attention previously. The only explanations I can give are that:

a) She didn't explain that when she said "cow" she meant an actual cow. I think visual aids would have helped.

b) Her explanations were muffled by the sound of chewing chicken nuggets.

Anyhow, when I realized the enormity of my actions, I desisted immediately. As of March 10, 2015, I am an herbivore, not unlike the triceratops and ankylosaurs before me.

I have been trying to get everyone in my circle to conform to my viewpoint, but many of them are resisting the growling sounds I make when they eat meat or talk about eating meat. For example, my friend "G" mentioned the other day that he would like to "eat a Zebra tail." To this I responded, "I will kill you." He was unmoved.


18 Feb

For the Birds









These days, the Chef packs me a picnic lunch for my daily trip to a place I will call "The Academy." Some days her selections are on the mark. Other days I prefer not to eat  what she has packed. On those days, I gift these unappealing bits of food to Janet, my buff cochin.

For the Chef's reference, here are some dos and don'ts for packing the proper picnic lunch for my busy days at the Academy:


  • Raisins
  • Yogurt
  • Cheese (not next to bread)


  • Leftover spaghetti
  • Sandwiches in any form
  • Corn Chips (yes, I know that I love them at home. But they just aren't suitable for this occasion. I don't see how she doesn't see the clear difference!)

Adult Beverage

Mixology I have started to explore "Mixology." The following is my first foray into beverages for adults.

30 Nov


Eating an Amuse Bouche


Recently The Chef brought me to a restaurant. It was a little different from our usual fare. When questioned, The Chef explained that we were at a "fancy restaurant" that had "one Michelin star."

Now I don't know very much about rating systems, but I am learning a thing or two about numbers. What I have learned is that "one" is actually not that much. If they want to impress me, I expect a restaurant to have at least one hundred and eight-forty million gillion stars. That seems like a lot.

That said, the "one star" restaurant was nice. They brought me fries, and there was a "pre-dessert" (pictured) that came before the dessert. There was also a "post-dessert" dessert course. I think three dessert courses is about right. The only thing that would have been better would have been four dessert courses.

On the strength of the number of desserts offered, I give them 12 billion stars in the Tiny Diner rating system.


13 Oct


Dino Cereal



Food presentation is an art, I am told. I have been practicing, and I think I am ready to show you my latest creation: Dino Cereal.

The dinosaurs travel through the "hot lava" (represented by the cereal) and often are tripped by large boulders (strawberries.)

The Chef did not have many encouraging words. She only mused on whether or not the dinosaurs would make it through the dishwasher.

It's OK, I am pleased with myself.

Burrito Dip









Why not cut to the chase and make something with all the deliciousness of a burrito, but all of the fun of a blender?

17 Jun


Just a note that berries are, indeed, the best thing about summer. Except maybe slushies.

Eating Berries on the Deck