thetinydiner's blog

10 Apr

Chopstick Mastery

Total Chopstick Domination

 

 

The Chef has totally been on my case lately to use my fork and spoon. She seems to think I can't use them properly yet. What she is failing to understand is that I am on strike from my fork and spoon until I am provided with a proper knife. I really can't do anything but use my fingers until such time that I am provided with an adequate cutting utensil.

So, imagine her surprise when I decided to use my chopsticks to eat this rice. I don't think she felt I went with a traditional approach to chopstick use, but I completely managed to get any number of bites into my mouth using my special Chopstick Mastery(patent pending) technique.

01 Mar

The $250 Popsicle

Eating a Popsicle

 

My parents took me to a very strange restaurant last night. I suppose they wanted to "re-educate" my palate. This past week I have been sampling some items they say are "not food." (I think this is due to a failure of imagination on their part. More on that in another post.)

Anyhow, the restaurant had pretty much zero ambiance. The seating was pretty comfortable, although they didn't seem to have any booster seats or high chairs. The waiters were all dressed in what I can only guess is some kind of alternative formal wear.

The featured dish must have been a rare delicacy, although it seemed pretty mundane to me. The Chef said it cost $250! It was purple, and I am told it was supposed to taste like grape.

03 Feb

The Art of Entertaining

Tea Party

 

 

Do you ever get the feeling that your guests aren't fully appreciating your efforts? (The Chef says she feels that way all the time.)

While I prefer to be served, occasionally I do entertain. My recent guest seemed to doze off. So I drank his tea and ate his bagel.

02 Jan

Tired Diner

Tired Diner

 

 

I have been meaning to post about more of my recent food experiences, but as you can see from this picture, I am suffering from extreme post-holiday fatigue.

Today I was snacking on the way back from my morning outing. I was in the middle of discussing some of the finer points of bouncy houses with my colleague (and backseat companion), Ms. M--. And I fell asleep mid-graham cracker. This is a first for me.

The Chef says that if I woke up after 5:30 AM, like "normal" people, this wouldn't happen. Apparently she doesn't enjoy the beauty of the sun rise as much as I do.

Happy new year,  dear readers. I hope you are all getting enough naps.

10 Dec

Winter Delicacy

Yummy Snow

 

 

 

If you haven't already sampled this wintery delight, I strongly recommend you try eating some snow.

What I like about snow is that distinctive crunch coupled with the accompanying sensation of cold. There are some subtle flavor differences depending on where the snow was harvested. My favorite comes from the front lawn, where I can detect the slightest hint of green grass, combined with an overtone of mulch. Snow also feels nice on my emergent molars.

While supply seems fairly plentiful to me, The Chef tells me that this is a seasonal offering, not available in all areas. So eat up now!

10 Nov

Meatball Pie

I will take a brief break from documenting my European exploits to share with you a great example of the culinary skepticism I receive in my own home.

03 Nov

Nightlife

Contraband
While I have many more Parisian food experiences to share, I should start telling you about this other place I went: Barcelona. And I will begin with one of the biggest discoveries I made while there: some people eat after bedtime. Now, previous to this trip, I wouldn't have considered such a thing. But now I am a big fan.

While in Barcelona, I was able to go to an establishment I am told is called a "bar." Honestly, it looked a lot like another sort of place I am fairly accustomed to, the "café", with outdoor tables, space to run, lots of yummy things to eat, and drinks that the Chef won't let me have. There was just one main difference: IT WAS DARK.

I really relished the atmosphere and the food at the bar. I really liked running up and down the sidewalk in the dark. I also ate a great quantity of cheese, which I am told is called "Manchego." I have tried to get The Chef to provide some after-hours ambience and food service since we have returned home, but so far she has refused my requests.

16 Oct

Contraband!

Contraband

 

 

While in Paris, I had the opportunity to sample some items that I am told are controversial.

My first taste of the forbidden came while sitting by the Seine with mes amis (and The Chef). We encountered a delightful food festival where a foie gras sandwich was procured for me. Now I don't know if any actual illegal transaction took place, and I deny all knowledge of where the sandwich actually came from. I only know that it was a very good sandwich.

(The Chef has informed me that I should not expect foie gras sandwiches to appear on my plate with any regularity. I was thinking it would make a nice change from tuna.)

Later that same day, I was offered what looked like a rather innocuous (and tasty) glass of milk. Little did I know that I was sampling that most illicit substance: raw milk. As I have not been "weaned", I drink raw milk of another sort all of the time. Perhaps I should be more furtive when enjoying unpasteurized beverages.

07 Oct

Farm Animals

Pink piggy of deliciousness

 

While in Paris, my kind host, Madame S, took me to a shop and provided me with a largish coin (let's just call it a "penny", since that is my preferred name for all coins.) Then, she let me buy anything I wanted from a large display case of what appeared to be very small farm animals.

Now I don't have the firmest grasp on the animal/food relationship. The Chef has mentioned to me several times that when I eat "chicken", there is some connection to the chickens I see when we go to the zoo or a farm. 

So, when I was offered the opportunity to bite the head off of the pig I had picked out, I was both a little concerned as well as intrigued. As it happened, it was delicious. The Chef said that it was "marzipan", which is perhaps a fancy name for miniature French swine?

28 Sep

To reiterate...

... I wish I was eating this right now.

 

Wishing