thetinydiner's blog

10 Mar

Silver Lining


For the past several days, I am afraid to say that I have succumbed to some sort of stomach ailment. How this came to be, I am not sure. Certainly, I had been experimenting with some local foods (i.e. a small rock in the backyard), and I had traveled extensively, exploring all surfaces wherever I went (you never know what treasures you will find if you are thorough), and I had perhaps been more lax than usual about The Chef's "no fingers in the mouth before bubbly hands" policy. 

Whatever the cause, I have been very off my food lately. My desire to sample even some of my most beloved snacks has been curtailed. Even Chocolate Milk holds no allure.

But in the darkness shines the culinary treasure known as "popsicle." This frozen treat has sustained me in my time of need. When feeling low, I have but to plaintively cry "popsic, popsic" in my sad, sick voice, and The Chef practically falls over herself to get one for me.

I may have to feel "sick" for a couple of extra days.

26 Feb


Happy Customer



So recently I have learned that if I order my food by name, rather than just pointing and grunting, I receive much better service. 

Probably the biggest improvement is that I can ask for things that aren't in front of me. Some favorite (and frequent requests) I make are for:





Sometimes I just like to ask to have the refrigerator opened. Often I don't want anything at all, but I like to browse and learn the names of new foods. You never know when you might need some capers or uncooked beets.


*I am told my pronunciation on this item is a little off. However, I find that I still receive prompt delivery despite this.

12 Feb




As you might remember from my previous post about Dental Hygiene, all of this eating necessitates taking care of my pearly whites, which are ever-more numerous as the weeks wear on. 

To keep my teeth in their pristine condition, I have started to experiment with dental floss. It makes a pleasant sound when it unwinds from the package and it tastes minty. I have even managed to put some of it between two of my teeth. 

My Personal Trainer and Stylist (a.k.a. The Chef) says this really isn't necessary yet since none of my teeth actually touch one another. 


02 Feb

Party Food

Check out me in a birthday hat


So I went to an afternoon event this past week, and I must tell you all about the food! While I am not sure that this is a fair generalization, I think you would do well to eat places where they give you a festive hat!

There were small round cakes with frosting, beautiful round sandwiches made with the stuff I ask The Chef to let me eat out of the jar, and cucumbers (which I don't care for at home, but are delightful in a party setting.)

I was never able to get a handle on exactly what the occasion was. I thought at first it might be some celebration for me. But as I received no gifts, I will assume it wasn't.

There was another fellow I hang out with sometimes who did seem to be sporting some new items, but I couldn't quite decipher what that might mean either. He did let me play with his truck.

In any case, the food was divine.

15 Jan




I have started to really enjoy entertaining. While my staff is pleasant, sometimes I want someone of my own ilk to rub shoulders with. I find that afternoons are much more agreeable when I can share them with visitors such as the lovely Miss M----. *

However, all of my dining companions do have to be aware of an important policy: Bring Your Own Bottle. 

While I am delighted to share such cuisine as "cheese crackers" and "yogurt melts" with my guests, I have to draw the line at providing beverages.

First off, I don't care to share my one lone sippy cup or my Camelbaks. But more importantly, my number one beverage of choice is still Mama Food. While I suppose I could technically share this, I simply do not care to. 

Fortunately, most of my guests are quite discerning, and nearly all have their own private chefs, as I do. The Chef mentions that I might eventually mingle with people who have a less extensive staff, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. 

*Miss M--- is pictured at left. As you can see she is rapt as I share some Eric Carle with her.

05 Jan

Hanukkah Cuisine

Tasty Candles?


The Chef promised me some delightful-sounding Hanukkah food over the holidays, and then failed to deliver. Each night I waited to be presented with my first proper latke. 

When no Hanukkah treats materialized, I decided to help myself. Heading into the pantry, I immediately saw something that fit the bill. The box looked familar from Hanukkah. The design on the box looked like some other food items in the pantry. Knowing this, I decided to take the plunge and give this delicacy a shot.

Maybe it is an acquired taste? It seemed a bit flavorless (and I even tried several different colors!) And the texture? When she discovered my foray into the pantry, The Chef told me the word I am looking for is "waxy."

Passover best be better than last year is all I am saying.

31 Dec

Happy New Year!


Happy Driver













I wish you all a happy new year and urge you not to drink and drive. Observe, I am a happier driver when not addled by the effects of chocolate milk!

26 Dec

Happy Holidays from the Tiny Diner

My in my car



As you can see, I have been spending a lot of time during the holidays driving around. I will have more dining experiences to report on in the new year.

Happy holidays everyone!

06 Dec




As I mentioned in my previous post about utensils, I am experimenting with different eating methods. Forks seem to me to be the most promising for my needs.

Forks are extremely enjoyable on a number of levels. I find that if I "stab" my food (or other items) I have a much easier time actually picking it up. As a bonus, I usually get an interesting reaction when I use the fork on non-food objects.

On the other hand, I am only given forks in some restricted situations. The Chef has characterized my fork use as "menacing," and is therefore reluctant to give me one at every meal, or in less supervised settings.

I need more practice. I beg of you, send me forks.

27 Nov

Thanks for the Food

Turkey Day

Last year I had to content myself with "observer" status at Thanksgiving. This year I was tremendously grateful to have enough teeth to participate for the first time in this yearly, all-day food festival.

At first I was a little worried since a lot of the food appeared to be the same color. Normally I take this as a bad sign. But I was delighted by nearly every offering, including:

Orange Rolls: Fantastic! I had my eyes on these from the start of the meal and they did not disappoint.

Mashed Potatoes: Baby food for everyone! It is hard to go wrong here.

Yams: Now I have eaten a LOT of yams and sweet potatoes. I would go so far as to say this is a food I am an "expert" on. These seemed to have a little extra "kick". I would like to request that future dinner yams get the same brown sugar, maple, bourbon, and buttery treatment as these Thanksgiving yams.

There were other delicacies, but these were the ones that really held my attention. I extend hearly congratulations to the numerous staff members who prepared this fine meal for me.