thetinydiner's blog

07 Jun

Puffs: My Review



Lately I have been eating some food called "Puffs". For those of you who are not babies (and I am guessing very few of you Dear Readers are) Puffs are basically air surrounded by some sort of crunchy, round, not-very-flavorful substance, usually with hole in the middle. According to The Chef, they have several benefits:

-I will not choke on them (as mentioned earlier, they are already mostly air)

-I am told they will help me with my "fine motor skills" 

-The Chef says they "entertain" me (I think she is overstating this a bit)

When I first encountered Puffs, I was actually somewhat irritated. First of all, I was asked to feed them to myself. Secondly, because I like to moisturize my hands with a liberal amount of drool, the Puffs tended to stick to my hands, making them nearly impossible to get into my mouth.

However, now that I have four months of eating experience behind me, I am finding that they really are quite lovely. Although they lack flavor, there is a certain sense of accomplishment to be had from the mere act of successfully eating them. I am told that this is what lobster is like, too.

30 May

Another Post about Non-Food

Not Food!


I need to follow up on my post about Food vs. Non-Food since The Chef has made it even more difficult for me to tell the difference. She says they sometimes sell Non-Food at the Supermarket!

As an example, the picture at right shows a colleague (from Food in the Kitchen) showing me the ingredient list for something that I imagine are called Baby Meat Sticks (I can't read, so this might not be the exact name.)

The Chef feels strongly that these fall into the Non-Food category. But they are in a jar, just like some food I do eat. This is really quite confusing.


Dear Readers, how do you decide if something is food?

25 May

Undignified Dining

Me, in my Feeding Pen


The Chef says that until I can learn some "manners," I need to eat my snack in  an environment that is crumb-friendly. These locations include: outside, in my highchair, and in this plastic container.

Dear Readers, have you ever seen anything so undignified? So what if I generate a few thousand crumbs per snack time? Isn't this why I maintain an extensive staff?

I think they are just getting lazy and trying to spend more time on their frivolous leisure pursuits, like showering and laundry.

22 May

Forbidden Legume

Me and my PB


There is a long list of things The Chef won't prepare for me to eat or drink. These include things like shellfish, honey, tomatoes, cow's milk, red wine, etc. The reasons for the prohibitions are varied.

Breaking with The Chef's "No Eat" list, The Chef and my Chauffeur gave me one of these forbidden foods the this past week: peanut butter

How was it? Well, it was certainly tasty. But I was expecting something more... trippy? I mean, I felt exactly the same after eating as I did before. What's the big deal?

Is bourbon going to be an equally underwhelming experience?


19 May

Watermelon: My Review



I had my first watermelon on Sunday. There were a few great things about it. The taste was excellent, and sweet. It was easy to grip. But what I really liked about it was biting it.

Dear Readers, I have not updated you, but I have 6 new teeth coming in.  When my teeth have finished coming in, I will have 4 on top and 4 on the bottom. Now if you harken back to my earlier illustration, you will see this means total biting domination!

14 May

Food vs. Non-Food

Is it Food?



So, The Chef says I am becoming a really skilled eater. But she says I have a "discernment" issue. She says I sometimes try to eat things that are "not food." 

What I would like to know is, how am I supposed to be sure?

Take this lovely blade of grass. The Chef tries to have something green on the menu each day. She likes to "eat local". She has also been a fan of "Baby Led Weaning", where I am supposed to feed myself. I figure that by harvesting and eating this grass, I am fulfilling all of The Chef's hopes at once.

Instead of applauding my proactive behavior, The Chef makes shriek-y noises and takes my grass away. Hmph.

11 May

Celebrity Chef Food

Celebrity Chef Food


Occasionally, I eat food made by a "Celebrity Chef."  This food comes in a little foil packet and is made by someone The Chef says is quite famous in some Chef circles, Tyler Florence.

So far I have tried five Celebrity foods:

  • Peaches and Brown Rice Pudding: Delicious! I love the spices, consistency, the whole thing is great. I see why this guy is a Celebrity.
  • Roasted Pears: Again, brilliant!
  • Yukon Gold Potatoes with Parmesen Cheese: I was looking forward to this because The Chef makes a big deal about Cheese. But I think I don't like Potato texture. And it was a weirdly shaped dish, too, taking on the dimensions and form of the foil packet. I spit it out.
  • Butternut Squash: The Chef pointed out to me that previously to this, all of the Butternut Squash I have enjoyed is from this single Butternut Squash, so I was eager to try a different squash. This one was tasty, but in a different way. The Chef said it strangely tasted more like pumpkin.
  • Baked Sweet Potatoes and White Beans (pictured) This was pretty good, but not as good as The Chef's. Take a look at that picture on the front of the package, though. Don't those look more like Yams than Sweet Potatoes? Maybe Celebrity Sweet Potatoes are more orange.

Another thing that has come to my attention as a result of all of this: my Chef is not a celebrity. I am considering replacing her with someone cooler.

05 May

My Drinking Problem

Me, Drinking

The other day, The Chef announced she was staging an "intervention."

Now if you have been reading my journal from the beginning, you know that I didn't find taking MF in a bottle (Take-Out Style) to be to my taste. I am a bit of a snob this way, but I really feel that service should have a "personal touch" and bottlefeeding just wasn't for me. 

Now that I am eating solids, The Chef had been providing me with a bottle filled with water every day. I found it was delightful to chew on. The cool water dripped on my chin, and the nipple is quite good for calming my sore gums. But drink out of it? No way. Well, I did once, but only because I was bored, and it seemed to be a good way to get everyone's attention.

I have also been provided with a sippy cup on more than one occasion. I like to hold it, but up-ending it so that the water reaches my lips is really too much bother. I have other more important skills to master, like crawling.

Now I don't necessarily see all of this as a problem. I think that I should just be allowed to sip water out of other people's cups whenever I ask for it, which I sometimes do every few minutes throughout any meal. I also like to lunge for people's glasses, sometimes spilling water all over them. 

Also, the Chef's intevention was a tad premature. She has admitted that she still doesn't know of any way to rehabilitate me.

01 May

Biting Disappointment


My two teeth

I have been long anticipating the arrival of new teeth so that I can "upgrade" my dining skills. The Chef has informed me that with additional teeth, I can move from my current mode of eating, which involves "gumming" and "gnawing", to a more advanced maneuver known as "biting."

The Chef isn't personally that excited by "biting" (for her own personal reasons, which remain unfathomable) but I have been looking forward to "biting" for sometime.

So it was with great delight that I learned of the arrival of a new tooth yesterday.

"Finally my "biting" can commence!" I thought. 

But, alas, apparently my teeth are gearing up for "enhanced gnawing" rather than biting. I refer you to the illustration below, so that you can share my keen disappointment. 

tooth situation


27 Apr

The Tiny Diner Seder


Last week I had my first Seder dinner. Dressed in my best shirt and pants, I was ready for some fine dining. And, what did I get to eat? Bupkis.

It seems that I am not "eligible" to eat many of the delights of Passover.  The Chef seemed to have an objection to my eating every dish.

Charoset? "Babies can't eat honey."

Brisket? "You are a vegetarian."

Karpas? "You don't have enough teeth."

Maror? "You will not like horseradish." Hmph.

So I put on a button-up shirt for this large cracker? Really?