thetinydiner's blog

23 Apr

Unprepared Prunes: My Review



Over the last few days, I have had the pleasure of having some Unprepared Prunes, otherwise known as "Plums". On both occasions, this fruit was served in a circular shape, and I was encouraged to gouge bits of it off with my two razor-sharp teeth. This is much the same serving method as dishes such as Pears Al Dente or Deconstructed Applesauce

The plum itself was delicious. I was really able to get to quite a lot of it quickly given that it was softer than the two dishes I mentioned previously. The smooth skin serves as a perfect substrate to hold onto the uneaten plum, creating really very little mess. I would recommend Unprepared Prunes as a charming addition to any meal.

So, you may ask yourself, if I liked the dish so much, why do I look so concerned in this picture? Dear Reader, I discern in this dish a troubling trend: the expection that I will feed myself.

While eating this dish, my Personal Server (who also happens to be The Chef) was eating, rather than attending to any of my needs. I think The Chef's introduction of such dishes as Unprepared Prunes is an unwelcomed bellwether. If I really wanted to feed myself, would I have such an extensive staff?


17 Apr

The Tiny Diner Work Out Plan

Working Out

You may have been asking yourself, how does the Tiny Diner stay in such good shape while having a personal chef attending to all of his food needs? How does he manage to stay so lithe while still eating 10 or so meals per day?

Let me introduce you to my special work out plan:

The Tiny Diner Ab Maneuver #1: Lie flat on your back (ideally, have someone put you there.) Try to reach the person who put you on your back. Strain your neck, lift your arms, and make sure you get your head and feet at least 2-3 inches off the ground.

The Tiny Diner Ab Maneuver #2: Very similar to Maneuver #1, but try it from your carseat and stroller, or anything with upper body restraints. Strain against the straps as if your life depended on it. Arch your back and lift your legs. 

The Upper Body Lunge: Have someone carry you around in a forward-facing baby carrier (Bjorn or similar). Lunge towards everything and anything that looks interesting. (Note: this may also have exercise benefits for the person carrying you as they counteract your forceful lunge.)

The Plank and Roll: Whenever you are moved onto your tummy against your will (due to the horrors of "Tummy Time") do a side plank and then use all of your strength to roll onto your back. Try not to rely on the weight of your oversized head to roll you over. Instead, focus on your arms and abs.

Perform each of these moves several times a day and I guarantee that you too will be in the 15th percentile in weight for your age in no time!

10 Apr

Tasty Toes?



So this morning The Chef was nibbling on my toes. I will admit she has done this before, and I always thought it was kind of cute. After all, I nibble on my toes too. They are really attractive and somewhat irrestible.

However, now that I have noticed that The Chef also eats food, I admit to feeling some trepidation when she puts my toes in her mouth. Does she, perhaps, really mean to eat them? Is this "food" experiment she has me on more than it seems? Does she hope to fatten me (and my toes) up for some future purpose? 

05 Apr

Eggs: My Review


My personal entertainer (a.k.a. Aunt L) made me a "Hard-Boiled Egg Yolk" for breakfast the other morning. The Chef gave the whole thing to me without warning me about how crumbly it was going to be! In a matter of moments, I had the entire thing scattered into a thin layer on my dining table. While there were certain aesthetic advantages to this,  I had a nearly impossible time getting any of into my mouth. I think this proves that The Chef needs to think more about the "plating" for each dish, particularly for these items where she expects me to take part in the actual "feeding" part of the meal.

As for the egg itself? Well, it was basically edible, but a bit boring after the first few bites. I think maybe this would be a better appetizer than a main course.

This review is dedicated to my new colleague, P.F.I. who was born last Saturday.

02 Apr

March Food Round Up: Solids Extravaganza

Blueberry Applesauce Day


With the experience of February behind me, I decided it was time to "bust out" in March. Since I traveled a lot in March, a little more of my food was purchased by The Chef, rather than prepared (as is indicated below). 

Peas: Quite good! 

Pears Al Dente: Fantastic! Read my detailed review here.

Applesauce with Greek Yogurt: Bleh. I gave up being a Vegan for this? 

Blueberry Applesauce: Not bad. 

Apples and Apricots (jar): Delicious.

Pears and Raspberries (jar): Also, quite delicious. Basically, I am OK with nearly anything that contains Apples.

Cauliflower: Read my concise review here.

Butternut Squash and Corn (jar): As with all variants of Butternut Squash, it is good eating.

Green Beans (redux): The Chef has finally nailed this dish. Apparently the level to which the green beans are cooked doesn't meet with her personal preferences, but the textural improvements are hard to overstate.

Prunes, and also Prunes with Greek Yogurt: Nothing special. And the prunes didn't really help me "acquire" a taste for yogurt.

Vanilla Teething Biscuits: This dish is both great, but also a tad frustrating. The deliciousness of the biscuit doesn't really kick in until a few minutes into the eating experience. More instant gratification here would be appreciated. Also, I get the sense these are being used to keep me busy...

Blood Orange Soda (unsanctioned foodstuff, provided by the Chauffeur): Bubbly! Weird!

Roasted Yams with Olive Oil: Delightful!

Tomatos and Carrots (jar): Excellent. This combined all of the goodness of carrots with a certain "je ne sais quoi".*

By far my favorite dishes from this month are Deconstructed Apple Sauce (which consists of Apple prepared in the manner of Pears Al Dente) and The Chef's Morning Yogurt (other people's food tastes so much better!)

*Seriously, I don't know. What is a tomato?

29 Mar

My Recent Revelation

Eating Other People's Food


So about a week ago I had an amazing revelation. I have started to notice that a lot of other people eat food. Just like me!

Now, I am not sure that everybody eats food. As far as I know, it might be an exclusive group. (After all, it makes sense that I would belong to an exclusive  group.) 

I have noticed something else about the eaters surrounding me: they seem to be eating some really delicious looking food.

I know that The Chef calls my meals "solids," but I think she really needs to look up the meaning of the term. A lot of what I have observed is a lot more "solid" than my usual fare. And it looks delectable! I have, on a few recent occasions, asked to partake of these foods so that I might better familiarize myself with their properties. So far I have tried a noodle (delicious) and bread (even more delicious). 

I have suggested to the The Chef that she learn how to prepare some of these "more solid" foods for me in the future. In the meantime, I will be requesting samples directly from her plate (for research purposes, of course.)

27 Mar

My Throne (Eating Out, Part Two)

The Tiny Diner, Enthroned


As I mentioned in my previous posts, March has been a big travel month. Accordingly, I have dined out quite a bit. One of the things I like best about dining out is that they bring me a throne.

How do I know it is a throne? Well, first off, I am the only one at the table who gets one. Also, I am nearly always placed at the best spot at the head of the table. And, all diners at my table turn to face me. 

It is gratifying that even when we are out and about, my prominence is recognized. In fact, I detect that sometimes waiters get a pained look when they see me coming, as if they are not sure their service will be up to my high standards.

Here I am in one of my thrones. Yes, my "Binky" is pink. Get over it.

24 Mar

Cauliflower: My Review

In a word: yuck.

18 Mar



I happened to be in my sedan chair (a.k.a. my Baby Bjorn) touring the kitchen today when The Chef happened to open the freezer.  

And what do I see? Something I am sure she did not intend for my eyes: my custom-made MF, all frozen in neat containers! I promptly confronted her about this.

It turns out The Chef has been skimming some off the top! She has shamelessly admitted that from time to time she stashes some of the MF away.

She claims that this will be used to either provide “Take-Out” for me, or it will be used as an ingredient in some dish she prepares for me. I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt for now. But I will be watching her like a hawk!

17 Mar

Interesting Link

I have been informed by the Chef that you, my readers, might enjoy this post from the blog Hobson's Choice on "The Eating Habits of The Young Human Mammal."  Personally, I can't read, so I couldn't say for sure if it is interesting. But The Chef reads a lot, so I am passing along her recommendation.