The Big Day Approaches!

11 Feb

Since the advent of my new teeth, The Chef has decided to move up the date of my first food to (drumroll please): Tomorrow! 

As you know, my first repast will consist of butternut squash. In keeping with my locavore tendencies, The Chef procured a squash that was grown by my groundskeepers (a.k.a. Grandma and Grandpa. This explains what they are doing when they are not paying attention to me.)

SQUASH!

In order to prepare for the big day, I asked The Chef to tell me a bit more about this delicacy. She said,

"Why don't you just take a look for yourself?"

after which she handed me a squash.

Have you seen the size of this thing? How does she expect me to eat this? I am sure this monstrosity weighs more than my head!

This casts the entire "food" project in a even less positive light. My healthy skepticism has turned to alarm! I mean, what does she expect me to eat after this? An elephant? If I had the means to do so, I might consider fleeing in the night.

She assures me that it will seem more palatable once mealtime arrives. In the meantime, I have 24 hours to consider escape routes.