10 Nov

Meatball Pie

I will take a brief break from documenting my European exploits to share with you a great example of the culinary skepticism I receive in my own home.

03 Nov


While I have many more Parisian food experiences to share, I should start telling you about this other place I went: Barcelona. And I will begin with one of the biggest discoveries I made while there: some people eat after bedtime. Now, previous to this trip, I wouldn't have considered such a thing. But now I am a big fan.

While in Barcelona, I was able to go to an establishment I am told is called a "bar." Honestly, it looked a lot like another sort of place I am fairly accustomed to, the "café", with outdoor tables, space to run, lots of yummy things to eat, and drinks that the Chef won't let me have. There was just one main difference: IT WAS DARK.

I really relished the atmosphere and the food at the bar. I really liked running up and down the sidewalk in the dark. I also ate a great quantity of cheese, which I am told is called "Manchego." I have tried to get The Chef to provide some after-hours ambience and food service since we have returned home, but so far she has refused my requests.

16 Oct





While in Paris, I had the opportunity to sample some items that I am told are controversial.

My first taste of the forbidden came while sitting by the Seine with mes amis (and The Chef). We encountered a delightful food festival where a foie gras sandwich was procured for me. Now I don't know if any actual illegal transaction took place, and I deny all knowledge of where the sandwich actually came from. I only know that it was a very good sandwich.

(The Chef has informed me that I should not expect foie gras sandwiches to appear on my plate with any regularity. I was thinking it would make a nice change from tuna.)

Later that same day, I was offered what looked like a rather innocuous (and tasty) glass of milk. Little did I know that I was sampling that most illicit substance: raw milk. As I have not been "weaned", I drink raw milk of another sort all of the time. Perhaps I should be more furtive when enjoying unpasteurized beverages.

07 Oct

Farm Animals

Pink piggy of deliciousness


While in Paris, my kind host, Madame S, took me to a shop and provided me with a largish coin (let's just call it a "penny", since that is my preferred name for all coins.) Then, she let me buy anything I wanted from a large display case of what appeared to be very small farm animals.

Now I don't have the firmest grasp on the animal/food relationship. The Chef has mentioned to me several times that when I eat "chicken", there is some connection to the chickens I see when we go to the zoo or a farm. 

So, when I was offered the opportunity to bite the head off of the pig I had picked out, I was both a little concerned as well as intrigued. As it happened, it was delicious. The Chef said that it was "marzipan", which is perhaps a fancy name for miniature French swine?

28 Sep

To reiterate...

... I wish I was eating this right now.



25 Sep

European Food Tour #1: The French Pastry

Brioche and Pain Chocolat


My next few posts will be about my recent travels to Paris and Barcelona, where I learned many new things about food and culture. 

I will start with my first, and possibly most important, observation: France has the whole pastry situation under control.

As you can see from my photos, I sampled an array of lovely treats, courtesy of my kind hosts, Monsieur T-- and Madame S--. These items bear no gustatory relationship to any previous pastry I have encountered. They are as unlike my usual morning bagel as an elephant is to a pug.

Also, my morning bagel does not feature chocolate, which is clearly an oversight.

Of all of these delights, I will note that my favorite is the tiny brioche with the little bits of sugar on top. I really enjoyed scraping the sugar off with my teeth, savoring it, and then digging in to the soft bread beneath. 

Eclairs and other Yummy ThingsI have asked The Chef to upgrade my morning pastry selection to include brioche, but she seems unable to provide this for me. Maybe a French Chef would have been a better choice than my current hire?


31 Aug

Baby Gaga

Baby Gaga Album Cover

I have been working on a new (food-related) song. Let me know what you think:

I wanna eat it like they do in Texas please
Smush it let em drip it drop it baby stay with me, I love it
Luck and intuition get the spoon up to my lips
And after its been licked I'll play with all the yogurt drips
Oh, oh, oh
I'll get it here, spread it 'round like snot
Oh, oh, oh
I'll get it there, dribble what I've got
Can't clean my, can't clean my
No you can't clean my yogurt face
(She's got to feed nobody)
Can't clean my, can't clean my
No you can't clean my yogurt face
(She's got to feed nobody)
Yo-yo-yogurt face, Yo-yo-yogurt face
(Mum mum mum mah)
Yo-yo-yogurt face, Yo-yo-yogurt face
(Mum mum mum mah)
I have been told it is a little derivative. Thoughts?
21 Aug

New Skills



Recently I have become interested in expanding my relationship with food. For the past 17 months or so, I have specialized in "eating." However, I have decided that it is time to explore other options, including preparing my own food.

To start off with, I have been experimenting with mixing, both by hand and with this cool electric mixer.

Hand mixing allows me to express myself by "banging" a mixing implement (whisk, spoon, etc.) against a bowl WITH a liquid in it. This is extremely satisfying. 

On the other hand, the electric mixer goes around and around and around and around... it is mesmerizing.

The Chef looks a little concerned when I take an active part in food preparation. I expect it is because she might be out of work if I ever decided to take up cooking full time.

17 Aug

Proper Dining Attire




It is my understanding that for many occasions, it is considered good form to wear a shirt. In fact, The Chef (also my personal style consultant) frequently makes me wear shirts.

However, since I have been sampling a number of tomato-based delicacies (pasta sauce, ketchup, etc.), I have found myself dining sans chemise.

It is really not dignified at all. 

15 Jul

Fruits of Summer



Who needs a Chef? Or the endless supermarket trips that The Chef forces me to attend? Everything I need can be found on this sort of poky bush in the back yard! I plan to eat this way for the rest of the summer.